Year in Review: 2023
Hola welcome to my 2nd annual end of the year retrospective where I look back at all the movies I posted about into one big round up as I give my final thoughts as we usher in a new year for new movies.
For the year of 2023 I managed to post 51 movies of various languages but a sizable chunk for da motherland of the US of A. As I prepared for this post I revisited each and every blog post and at times even rewatched the movies themselves. Just remember, this list is not that deep. I'm not as well versed in the horror genre as well as I thought I was. There are some legit real die hards out there so this is just from an average joe perspective. So without further ado, new year, new graphics; let's get into our Horrortized award winning movies..kidding obviously. Those are useless as fuck. Some may have ties as I will try to at least mention every single movie.
I also added a few more categories from last year but that being said some didn't make the cut so let's just hold on to those for next year. All movie spoilers will be spoiled so this is your disclaimer.
Enter: Yoga Hakwon.
That was the first post I made this year. I actually did watch a slew of movies before then, many of which never made the cut for this blog until I watched Yoga Hakwon. I thought it was such an interesting concept and it chilled me to the bone. So I thought this would be such a great way for me to make my blog comeback. I did take a few months break because I had major writer's block or otherwise dealt with health problems. Glad it was Yoga Hakwon to break my ass out of that slump. Temporarily at least.
For this category I will base this off of when I watched outside of the blog. I have often said I have watched the same movie up to THREE times for the sake of completing the blog post. However, there are a few movies I have watched even rewatched weeks or even months after the post would be made. This easily goes to Paper Dolls. I loved the movie THAT much. In fact so much that I went back and changed my rating from 4 stars to 5 stars. I doubt anyone noticed the change but it was a complete revelation for me. I must've rewatched this movie on my own volition at least on 5 separate occasions. Not only did the ending make more sense the me, it still made me cry! Easily one of my all time favorite movies of this generation. Also, I noticed while this post didn't initially gain traction it has recently gained an uptick in views so much in fact that as of this posting it is currently in the Top 4 Most Viewed Posts of All Time for this blog. No idea what has accounting for the surge in views but I'm all for it.
Never thought this would actually be an actual category but here I am. Just because there is a protagonist in the movie, it doesn't mean you have to actually LIKE them. For that, my vote goes to Gemma from M3GAN. Sure, it was totally out of left field when her single white ass now has to be responsible for her niece when her parents died. That, I do have sympathy for but her attitude for the remainder of the movie sort of pisses me off to a lesser degree. That social worker lady that expressed her doubts was not the mean spirited lady we are led to believe because she was dropping bars when she bluntly questioned Gemma's maternal instincts. What does Gemma do? Neglect her actual duties at work to hastily make a robot companion to do the job that she refuses to do. That's one evolutionized level of laziness to avoid putting real effort into being a proper maternal figure to yo niece, lady. And then like, as soon as Cady is coming around to M3GAN being BFFs and all, Gemma just wants to rip that away from her. Bruh, pick a side! For that, Gemma, you are not likeable. Better luck in the sequel.
You would think this would be an easy peasy choice but holy shit even the most unimpressive movies had great protagonists. For that, I think Kumari beats all these protangonists out of the water. She is the titled character for this Indian horror whom is revealed to be in an arranged marriage. What I think makes her a real bad ass is first when I realized how compassionate she was with her husband. I forgot his name but yeah he looked like he had some extremely severe mental issues which could easily could have turned any other person but not Kumari. One of my favorite scenes of the movie was when there was a montage of the both of them bonding and each lowering each others guards and you see them genuinely having a rad time together. Of course, this is a horror movie so that shit was pretty short lived. The other reason why I think Kumari is the best protagonist is towards the end of the movie when she starts fighting with that demon at the end. I totally need to rewatch this movie but yeah that scene still sticks out in my mind just how much of a bad ass how she not only stood up to her unhinged husband but the demon. Fearless as fuck. Love her for that.
Now, this is a weird one because I like this movie a lot which goes to show how a movie can have great execution for a rather lackluster reveal of characters. My choice for worst villain would go to The Glass Coffin when it revealed that the person behind these tortures is another fellow actress with a grudge. That's it. In my original post, I was hoping it was a rogue artificial intelligence but nah twas a mere mortal who is salty as fuck about a movie role. Nice movie, excellent execution but really? The villain reveal was just plain bananas. My close 2nd are those fuck ass from Funny Games. Hot take, I know. 2 sociopaths just randomly pick a family to mess with and eventuallly murder only to repeat the process. Booorrring!
What makes a Best Villain anyway? Metrics would totally be different depending who you listen to but for this instance, I am going off of entertainment factor. You don't have to agree with me (because why would you?) but I am going to go with that Black Roses which is the name of the evil rock band that tries to take over a small town with their heavy metal and satanism. Okay, not satanism but that's what the city folk were led to believe. I found them quite awesome as the villains. They played a 3 night show in this town which increasingly made the crowd go hella murder crazy. Silly movie plot but it for sure made such an entertaining movie to watch. Cheesy answer but woop there it is. Close 2nd is Santa Claus from Rare Exports tied with gobble gobble killah in ThanksKilling.
I totally know this is coming from left field but I am going to go ahead and say it. Araromire: The Figurine gets my pick for best storyline. Sure, execution was absolutely dreadful but I still ended up watching this movie multiple times since the posting that one. Hate to say it but I personally like this classic story of that complicated love triangle between 2 best friends both pining for 1 woman. You would think the main character is all good guy and shit but in the grand reveal is that our main man concocted this elaborate scheme to get his dream lady back. Psycho type of shit really but I thought it was interesting in the grand scheme of things. You may beg to differ and that's okay. Dude was hella dedicated you can tell that much.
This may come as a shocker to ya but I will go for Spellbinder for the worst storyline. You mean to tell me that all this time that the dude was with another dude that helped rescue a girl in order to be the unwitting sacrifice for a crazy cult is all part of a perfect design? The protagonist's friend was shown in the plot twist to be a part of this evil scheme but this plan seemed to play out 100% perfectly. What I mean is that it could have easily not have happened. In the 1st encounter, the unwitting victim could have easily been a piece of caca and turned a blind eye and not gave a hoot about saving a woman in distress. That part just never made sense to me. It was made clear that was the intention in the ending of the movie when the bad guy takes the new guy out only for the process to repeat itself again when the couple starts public fighting like clockwork. Major HR concerns bro.
Now, what do we mean by most realistic? Judging from the obvious, nothing supernatural but events that could literally happen to any of us. This useless award goes to Piggy. Fucking fantastic movie. Nothing is more scarier than real life. This girl literally saw her bullies being abducted! The rest of the movie is just brain boggling and honestly still realistic-ish. Of course it did seem a bit silly towards the end when the main character, Sarah and the abductor come face to face several times but there is very little dialogue between them. Would've made sense if they had been previous acquaintences or share some kind of REAL bond. But nah....and then in the end Sarah ended up killing him anyway. That part maybe not so much realistic but the bulk of the movie totally is. Close 2nd is Welcome to Hell that is, if you forget that god awful ending. The movie was alright but it was most importantly stemmed in realism. There have been actual cases eerily similar to this movie...pretty fucked up if you ask me.
You can definitely tell depending which movie you watch that some put sooooo much effort into quality movie soundtracks whereas others are just plain not existent. Those ought to be an automatic loser for Worst Soundtrack category so I am plain not going to have that category this year. BEST, now that is easily Turbo Kid. It was made entirely from Le Matos and man nothing really gets me going more than synth 80s soundtracks. My favorite track that is in constant rotation in my music library is easily Eyes Throat Genitals. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is a close 2nd. It was pretty obvious from the blog post alone and it was extremely recent as it is too. What would I have said if not Rare Export? I honestly have no damn clue but I was absolutely smitten with the soundtrack for this movie. It kept a great pace in terms of the movie progression.
So many underwhelming movies but at the same time there has been quite a sizeable amount of movies I really dug. Super duper uper schmooper hard to pick one. So I won't. I'll give you my Top 3 contenders in no particular order. The results may shock you! JK. Alright 1st pick is Felidae due to they made a murder mystery into a very amazing execution of not only within the feline community but to an animated film...and it still had my shit shook. Bravo. 2nd pick is Zalava because I loved how low key they made a demon possession type of movie. It was a very interesting take that could have easily turned into your typical run of the mill movies but the way the story is told I was thoroughly impressed. I loved how there really was no villain, nope not the exorcist was not made out to be an evil soul sucking charlaton or anything...he was....just a dude being dude. 3rd and last pick is Train to Busan partly because thought Gong Yoo was such a hottie. However, I liked how they showed despite his flawed character he made leaps and bounds during the course of this movie. OMG that ending.....if you know you know. I still cry when I think about it.
Slim pickin's really. Out of the 51 movies I posted about this year only 6 of them were from the USA. I haven't exactly made a breakdown for the rest of the countries but that could be a new thing to add for next year. You know, like a cool pie graph chart or something. As for my pick for the best USA movie I posted in 2023, I'd easily go with M3GAN with Five Nights At Freddies at a close 2nd. Despite what I feel about Gemma, the main character, I think this movie is a staple for the new age horror movies with AI and stuff. Of course, horror movies with artificial intelligence is nothing new whatsoever but moreso combined with parasocial relationships and the disconnect with the real world. It's pretty freaky. As much as I have complained that modern horror movies tend to make me roll my eyes, this was absolutely the exception. From the moment I saw the trailer I was fucking hooked and as soon as it was first on streaming, it definitely lived up to the hype. I randomly rewatch this movie now and then when I hit a roadblock in what to watch.
This may not be a shock to you but I am totally going with ThanksKilling for the best low budget. I mean, it was god awfully lowest of the low budget but this is actually one of my favorite low budget movies. It was one of those that tried too hard that it was simply lovable. It did a cheesy job with the horror movie cliches and inside jokes. However that "you just got stuffed scene" was just too far that I wish my eyes didn't fucking see that shit but regardless, this movie was a very fun viewing.
I get to show off my full ass bias here but not like I haven't made my opinions known before anyway. Paprika is the movie I love the most from what I posted in 2023. Like I said, bias and if you read the movie's post then it is not hard to see why. If you didn't well here is a quickie reason why: I loved the it before I even watched the movie. I recall seeing the trailer many moons ago and I fell in love with it. When I finally was able to watch the movie I was still very much in love with it if not more than before. During that time I was heavily into the deep topic of lucid dreaming and meanings and stuff. Paprika absolutely came at such a pinnacle of time. It was like a greatly timed event that I still hold dearly to my heart.
Really not that hard of anything to narrow down. I found a lot a movies that really bummed me the hell out. I try my best not to look down on low budget movies but those were definitely on my radar as far as deciding what was officially the suckiest movie in my eyes. I give that to Guinea Pig 2. Why not 1? Well this 2nd one is not my cup of tea and if it is for you then I seriously am deeply disturbed for you. I wouldn't even call this a movie and I highly don't recommend you to seek out this movie because there is no substance in it to even call it a movie. It was unnecessarily gruesome which was the obvious intent but still...terrible movie I wish I never watched.
Wow well this is a toughie. There are so many movies that left my jaw dropped and my shit shook. This is admittedly different from Movie I Loved Most as that was more opinion based, for Best Movie of 2023 I take into account which movie I posted that seemed to dominate as a whole regardless of my opinions. That goes for acting, cinematography, storyline, character development, soundtrack and all that jazz. My ultimate pick is Train to Busan. Seriously, yo this movie was so perfect and this is coming from a person who has long burned out of zombie movies and tv shows. The movie progressed at an amazing pace, set the tone for our flawed protagonist. The events themselves constantly kept me on the edge of my seat. The ending though. I still can't get over it. Yeah that's right I mentioned the ending twice, so what?
If you managed to reach to the bottom of this post then please accept my deepest apologies for reading through my terrible writings. I seriously write like a 5th grader. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and reading, While I did wish I wrote more, here's to next year that I hopefully get the chance to not only write more but have this stupid as blog but expand to new audiences as well. That will defintely encourage me to write more. I have said this before but I'll say it again: this is a hobby. I do this in my free time and no I don't earn any money or donations. It's for fun! When I get more confident with this blog I may open up a few more avenues but we will see what the future holds.
After a whole ass year off, I decided to revitalize my Instagram! Stay tuned for more info.
More movies are hella planned for this blog and I totally cannot wait to share with ya'll.
See ya fuckers in 2024! HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!
